


heaven help a fool who falls in love (a star wars drabble anthology)

by milleniumfxlcon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Ahsoka Tano, Pre-Rogue One, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:02:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milleniumfxlcon/pseuds/milleniumfxlcon
Summary: “when will you be leaving?” is all leia says when she turns back to face han.“tomorrow morning.” he mumbles.“but tonight,” leia smiles sadly, “we can pretend.” she stands on her toes, kissing him before he can say anything else.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Galen Erso & Lyra Erso, Kaeden Larte/Ahsoka Tano, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Leia Organa/Han Solo
Kudos: 7





	heaven help a fool who falls in love (a star wars drabble anthology)

han glances at leia with a quiet desperation in his eyes. she seems so far away now, despite them only being six feet apart from each other. he looks down at the floor and sees leia’s reflection. she looks at him sadly, with a yearning he can’t quite place. and somewhere deep down, he thinks, resentment. in that moment, han regrets everything. the silence is punctuated with the things he wants to say, but for once, he can't find the words. 

“ _leia_.”

it's a plea for her to come back to him. 

“he has _your_ eyes, han. and that hair… every time i look at you, i see **him**. i see the son we should have raised better. we should have been there for him.” the hurt in leia’s voice makes him doubt himself even more. 

“i think it’s best for both of us if i left. you don’t look at me that way anymore, the way it was when we had our son. you want me to be him, but i’m not.” han sighs. “i can’t be who you want me to be.”

“it’s not your fault, han.” 

“oh yeah, then whose was it?” he counters.

“snoke’s.”

“we can’t blame all the problems with _us_ on snoke.” han shakes his head. 

“then who should we blame it on? **me**? **you**?” leia raises her voice slightly, and he can tell she doesn’t want to say it either. 

“and every time i look at our **son** now, i see your _father_.” he scoffs. 

leia turns away, but he can tell she’s hurt. han wishes he could take back what he said, but it’s too late. in that moment, he realises he’s losing her too. 

“we _both_ had a part to play in what happened to us. to ben. it’s on _us_ , leia. no one else,” he offers. 

“when will you be leaving?” is all leia says when she turns back to face him.

han stops, searching for anything to try and save this outcome. he wants to be here for her, to get through this with the woman he loves, but she needs a distraction. and maybe, he needs one too. 

**_he has your eyes, han. and that hair… every time i look at you, i see him. i see the son we should have raised better._ **

in that moment, han makes a decision he hopes she can forgive him for. 

“tomorrow morning.” he mumbles.

“but tonight,” leia smiles sadly, “we can pretend.” she stands on her toes, kissing him before he can say anything else. 

han kisses her back, his hands tracing the outlines of her face, as if he’ll forget what she looks like when he leaves. she buries her face in his jacket, and he wraps his arms around her. he doesn’t realise he’s crying until she reaches out and wipes away a tear from his cheek. 

“just- leave before i wake up.” leia whispers. “i can’t watch you leave like this. i _can’t_ .”  
  


han holds her tighter and nods absently. he knows that if he stays till the morning, he won’t want to leave either. 

leia gently detaches herself from his embrace, leaving her dried tears on his jacket. she wants him more than anything else in the galaxy, but she can’t have him, not while ben reminds her so much of him. she didn’t think she’d lose han, but here they were, separating. becoming their own people again. they could have this night, at least. leia wasn’t quite sure they would have one like this again.

“how long are you going to keep that _kriffing_ jacket for?” leia laughs.

“it reminds me of you,” han smiles. “i guess i’m keeping this one on a little longer.” 

“don’t stay away too long, or i’ll actually miss you.” she smiles back. “ _scoundrel_.”  
  


“ _your worshipfulness_.” han quips. 

leia pulls him towards their bed, watching as he lies down beside her. she faces him, holding his hand as she braces for the inevitable. he feels warm, like the welcoming feeling of coming home. this feels normal, like any other night; except it isn’t. 

“g’night, leia.” han yawns, his eyes already fast closing. “i’ll see you in a while.”

“goodbye, han,” leia whispers. 

she doesn’t want to fall asleep, and she doesn’t know if she can. just this once, she _sees_ han. she watches his chest rise and fall, and how peaceful he looks. she falls asleep dreaming of him, and the future that would have been. 

when she next wakes up, he’s gone. she finds a note where he used to be, weighted down by a holochess piece. chewie _._ leia slowly unfolds the note, imagining him saying those words to her and hoping that one day, she’ll get a chance to forgive him in person.

_hey, leia._

_i know this note doesn’t make up for what i said, but i love you. more than this galaxy itself. you’re so smart, so beautiful and so talented. i’m lucky to have you as my wife. but i know, that we need time to fix this. and we will, i hope. i know you still see good in our son. maybe you can help him find it. you won’t give up on him. and i’m not giving up on us. i’ll see you soon. and if you find luke before we meet again, tell him i miss him._

_p.s. i saved a bottle of corellian wine for you._

_may the force be with you._

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i'm hoping to get my writing muse back, so i'm doing a lil' star wars drabble anthology! han and leia's relationship just means so much to me, and i wanted to explore the in-between. leave a comment if you liked it or if you want to request a pairing!


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